Red Dragon - Chapter 2:
He tried to be still inside. In his mind a silver pendulum swing in darkness. He waited until the pendulum was still.
I remember when your head caught flame.It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain.
- being late
- things i said five minutes ago
- things i said five years ago
- people touching me
- being around a ton of people
- being yelled at
- wondering if people are talking about me
- every action i do
- and just about everything else
NO MATTER HOW DEEPLY YOU GO, MY VOICE WILL GO WITH YOU
Graham had a lot of trouble with taste. Often his thoughts were not tasty. There were no effective partitions in his mind. What he saw and learned touched everything else he knew. Some of the combinations were hard to live with. But he could not anticipate them, could not block and repress. His learned values of decency and propriety tagged along, shocked at his associations, appalled at his dreams; sorry that in the bone arena of his skull there were no forts for what he loved. His associations came at the speed of light. His value judgments were at the pace of a responsive reading. They could never keep up and direct his thinking. He viewed his own mentality as grotesque but useful, like a chair made of antlers. There was nothing he could do about it. (x)